Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Welcome to Homophobic Wednesday

This is the last reader submission I have. (Thank you John Jacobsen.) So until somebody sends me more. Reader Submission Wednesday is going to become "Homophobic Wednesday"—lawd knows I've got more than enough of this crap from men's room walls.

Today's entry is actually kind of interesting. Somebody took "I eat gay cock 4 lunch yum" and tried to unhomophobic it. Now if somebody could do the same for Mel Gibson we might have something going here. (Look at me mom, I'm on Leno!)

Only problem, and I realize the unhomophober only had the clever "I eat gay cock 4 lunch yum" phrase to work with, this new phrase makes no sense. "I eat stray cook 4 lunch yum". Come on, if you're gonna Shit Talk the homophobia out of something, don't correct it, just scrawl something else on the wall that makes fun of this stupidity.

If anybody wants to end Homophobia Wednesday, send me your Shit Talking photos.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Some 2007 Humor.

Ahh, Larry Craig. Where have you gone? Truck stops?

Having conquered the airport bathroom, dear Larry is going up and down the line of bathrooms he can hit for his patented foot tap—K-marts, Greyhound bus stations, chicken refineries.

Two claps for one of the biggest career nose dives ever. Can he even get a job at a car wash?

Monday, September 27, 2010

Poof! Cornbread!

Today's Shit Talking photo is brought to you by the letter "T" and the letter "DAH".

I would have also excepted, "Woot", "Word Up" or "Hell'z'yeah" but alas, this is all the bathrooms at the Frankfort Avenue Depot would yield.


Friday, September 24, 2010

Ready for a LARGE weekend

Sup Shit Talkers,

Friday is here. Who's ready for some fun? More than you can fit in bags?

Read an interesting article yesterday that talked about how all women's organization logos a designed the same. Showed 50 or so women's organizations that all have the same logo essentially—line figure of a woman, wispy arms and legs, dot for a head. By now you probably have that exact image pictured in your head. If not click above, it's really ridiculous.

It's equally ridiculous to think anybody, other than the First Church of Pamela Anderson & Watermelon Alliance, would use the above image as a corporate logo. How about we ditch the damn lunacy of both and come up with something original.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

"I'm a crack addict, I'm addicted to crackin skulls when punks start static"

Unofficial Reader Submission Week continues. (Basically, I keep forgetting to upload photos at night so I can post them during the day.)

Enjoy today's by John Jacobsen.
Enjoy the crack.


Wednesday, September 22, 2010

It's Racist Reader Submission Wednesday!

This week's reader submission comes from John Jacobsen and man, is it racist.

Just like everybody else, other than the Ku Klux Klan or Rush Limbaugh, I express all my racist comments in the men's room. Why do it in public? It just causes too much of a stir and tends to bring dinners and meetings to a halt.

Also, I didn't know that gay men tend to have small penises? Wow, what a good joke. I'll have to remember that for the next men's room I'm in.

Thanks racist.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Cat...The Other, Other White Meat

Insanity meet Shit Talking. Holy hell!

This is a little hard to read but according to Tuesday's submitter, Jenny Wingo a lot of the cats have obituaries beside them and notes about "living forever" scribbled.

It's from a bar in Austin, TX called the Mean Eyed Cat. Which Jenny says has the world's largest collection of Johnny Cash memorabilia. Sign me up.

This is really the weirdest thing I've posted on Shit Talking.

Keep the weird stuff coming. Email me at

Long live Mr. Turley.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Why in the world would anybody put chains on me?

...That's why I'm easy, easy like Sunday morning.

Weird lyric. Seriously why would anybody want to put chains on Lionel Richie? It's Lionel "Brick House" Richie.

And how did this lyric make it into the final song? Really odd.

Friday, September 17, 2010

The lamest shit talking image yet

Time to get all motivational poster on your ass!

If this was a motivational poster, what would the subhead be?

Submit your answers below.

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Whores Capital of the World.

Having lived in and around Lexington, KY for 22 years, I can tell you the people of that city like 4 things, in order.

1. Bourbon
2. UK Basketball
3. Whores
4. Horses

The Horse Capital of the World is about to host the All Tech Equestrian Games starting next Saturday. Let's hope Lisa Greene profits from this influx of horse thieves, Sheiks and cheating husbands.

If you're going to the games, give Lisa a call. She'll show you a good time, then she'll show you the door.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Wednesday Reader Submission Politico!!!

This week's Reader Submission comes from Nick Demille.

Who doesn't love getting drunk, discussing politics and slapping some Shit Talking on the men's room wall?

I'm not sure about the Balls for Brains "subhead" here. Trading either for either essentially negates the use of the one left behind.

Monday, September 13, 2010

I hate Captaaaaaaaaaaan Plannnneeeettttt!!!

Apparently Captain Planet has turned into a real asshole and wants us all dead.

First his tv show gets canceled. Then aerosol cans eat his ozone layer. Then... well there's a lot of then's actually.

But really, as a Captain, he's done a pretty shitty job. A Captain is supposed to lead you to victory. Rally the troops and charge ahead. But when was the last time you even saw this asshat?

His show isn't even in syndication.

Shouldn't this mook be down here picking up cans and cardboard? Shouldn't he be punching BP in the corporate dick? Maybe he should stop eating all the magic mushrooms in the forest and get the fuck back to work. Toot! Toot fuckstick! Break time's over Captain!

(Thanks go to Jacobsen for this pic, I think)

Friday, September 10, 2010

Bear FRIDAY!!!!

Gotta keep today short, too much damn work flying around here to be long winded.

Watch out for bear attacks. Also watch out for Bear Magazine. It's not a like Cat Fancy. Although maybe Cat Fancy should aim to be more like Bear Magazine. Somebody call the editor.

Enjoy your weekend.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Starts with and "R" ends with a divorce.

Well, holy shit! Here's one for a Thursday morning.

I'm not sure how America benefits from this maneuver exactly.

Do the terrorists win if we don't?
Wait, isn't this essentially what the terrorists are doing in their motherland to their wives/stable of women currently?

If we don't, does America lose it's rep as the baddest cat on the corner?
Wait, I think Bush managed to help wipe that out.

Does this fix the economy?
Okay, so if you're gonna rape your wife, I'm assuming you'll need petroleum or some other type of lubricant. And who in America produces more petroleum based products than anybody else? Answer: Halliburton.

Fuck you Dick Cheney. I will not abide by your shit talking suggestions.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Chuck Johnson, done somebody wrong.


This week's reader submission comes from two separate people from two separate port-o-potties—thank you Mike Jones and Amy Wathen.

First up...Chuck Johnson Eats Here. Gross, yet inventive. Chuck has really angered somebody or somebodies enough to warrant two Shit Talking moments.

I don't know Chuck. But I'm going to guess Chuck is the type of guy who pees in his shoe and walks around in it, beats his parents up for new gaming systems and knocks the beer out of your hand while you're two sips in. Chuck must be a dick.

Second...Chuck Johnson is My Ball Cleaner. I don't like this little piss shoe walker. He's a bully, I'm guessing, who is finally getting his comeuppance.

Keep on keepin' on Chuck.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010


No reasons to cloud today's Shit Talking post with literary gibberish and analysis.


Says it all.

Friday, September 3, 2010

The only thing in Texas...

I've been to Dallas once. For a very extended stay. Against my wishes.

And other than highways and car washes, I have no idea what there is to do is this Buttholeville. Nor do I want to know. Depressing place, no reason semi-nearby Plano, TX is the teenage suicide capital of the U.S.

Somebody else out there shares my opinion of the city.

Change the sheets America—let's annex this festering, puss-filled goiter.

Happy Shit Talking Friday.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Is there a better sentiment?

One of the fun things about Shit Talking is the examination of the English language—and not just the misspellings.

The words expressed at the point the pen hits the wall is amazing to me.

To me, I can use this statement in 3 ways.
1. In a joking manner.
2. As a serious, get the fuck out of my way, I'm pissed at you.
3. As a defensive maneuver.

In this context—inside a Germantown bar in Louisville, Kentucky—I wonder if this sentiment was expressed as:
1. A joke/response to all the graffiti in the bathroom?
2. Was the author of this pissed his piece was covered up?
3. Was the author pissed because he found a pube in his beer?

Whichever it is, I love it.

Happy Thursday and Fuck All Y'all Muther Fuckers

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Turlet One Down! Turlet One Down!

Reader Submission Wednesday!

This week Troy Burkhart submits this Shit Talking photo from some where in the middle of Indiana.

It's a sad day when Toilet One goes down. It was everybody's favorite. Tears will be shed. We will miss you until "Furtheur Notice".