A Good Ole Fashioned Friday Tit Ramble

The second weekend of the week is upon us. Can't remember the last time a holiday fell in the middle of the week, had the day off and then had to come back to work for two days. Odd.

Okay, I love a good tit. I don't know if there are many people out there who can't appreciate one or two. Gay, straight, from Zimbabwe, I don't know anybody who doesn't either love tits or can't at least say, "well those are nice," "oh look, those are perky" or "i wish mine looked like that."

Unlike the male undercarriage, tits and the female body are more widely perceived as objects of beauty. Male bodies are generally hairy, disgusting piles of weirdness with objects that look like they were taped on by a drunk 3 year old with some crazy glue and a pair of scissors.

I think God spent millions of years crafting woman in his mind and when it came around to creating man, he just kinda handed this assignment off to his mentally challenged brother Gary. I don't know if I buy this whole rib from a man thing. I think God's trying to cover up Gary's failed attempt at creating a life form. This is also why Gary now works in the aquarium section at a Wal-Mart in El Paso.

This all said, breast feeding in public just creeps me out. Two weeks ago, I had to get some papers notarized. I went to my local UPS store, did the deed and walked out. When I did, I walked right into full bore tit action.

Don't believe me. Take a look below.

(Yes, I'm the creepy guy taking picture of the ladies of Louisville breastfeeding in public from a vehicle that looks like it just fell out of a rape cave.)

Now image seeing this from about 2 feet away.

Freaked my shit out.

Do you look? Do you ignore it? Do you ask for the leftovers? What is the right thing to do in this situation? 


This happened to me once before at a party. Hanging out in a friend's backyard, a guest I didn't know, just took a titty out. I mean just wham, bam, OUT! Then she proceeded to cover it up 15 to 20 seconds later with a Hooter Hider. Well, what's the fucking point? We've all seen your milk engorged boob now?


My real question is, who does this? Who just pops a titty out in public to feed a child? If you didn't have a child, you'd never just whip out a tit unless Girls Gone Wild or beads are involved. What makes breast feeding in public, while not covering up, okay?

Anybody?