Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Georgia Outlaw

Often when I start these posts, I have no idea what I'm going to write about. This is a bad habit. If I bothered to structure these things, they would probably be more coherent and less rambly.

Today is one of those days.

After the success of the Saturday Evening Post—Dong Bang, I didn't know what to toss up here. So I dug into the files and found this photo above.

So what the hell do you do with this? Yes, I could make a comment about how some white trash, hillbilly, Mountain Dew swilling, high school dropout probably wrote this in the grout. That would be my normal post and you the reader would learn nothing.

So we can either leave it at that or, we can google this shit. Which led me to this on youtube...

As you can see,  Junior is some kind of a vagabond, clown wrestler and a shitty one at that. His opponent is some meathead named Jesse James aka, the "Georgia Outlaw" who probably spends his days looking at Hustler and watching reruns of Two and Half Men. I'm not sure which arouses him more.

Let's just say this thing gets weird. I mean real weird. I watched all 10:33. And so you don't have to, here are some of the highlights:

  • Junior is from "way out in left field"
  • This is a "Sesame Street Fight". If only this was true. Muppet fights get stabby.
  • The whole fight is over the "Georgia Outlaw" owing Junior tokens to Chuck E. Cheese.
  • Random screams from the audience include "you look gay". Way to go Appalachia!
  • There's some beating with a led pipe, couple of shots to the groin and blah, blah, blah for 5 minutes. 
  • Finally towards the end a hillbilly version of Rosie O'Donnell shows up.  Gets hit with a baking sheet and proceeds to fall down dead. Only to miraculously rise again when the bell rings.

Jesse James ends up winning, which is a shock. How could a hobo wrestling clown lose?

I demand a recount.

For more amazing video Search Appalachian Championship Wrestling on Facebook.

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