Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Reader Submission Wednesday—Fecal Scrawl Y'all

Well it's Wednesday and since I've been too lazy to write anything on my own this week, I'm depending on my readers again for a launching point.

This week's submission comes from Susan Arterburn (aka Afterburn). 

Here's what she's got to say about her photo, "I'm not sure if this is a warning of the end of the earth or if this bathroom in the middle of Alabama is actually a time machine but I'm pretty sure we haven't experienced 12-27-12." 

Either side of the coin is scary for me to think about. 

If Alabamians have a time machine I'm pissed. But it's Alabama, so the chances of this happening are about as plausible as Orville Redenbacher's corpse popping out of the grave, popping over to my house and popping me a fresh stove top batch of popcorn.

If it is a warning about the end of the earth, well then the Mayans have some competition. 

The Mayans only created language, art, modern farming, architecture and mathematical and astronomic systems.

Alabama has given us, toothlessness, joblessness, the National Museum of the Bucktoothed, inbred children whose mouths are where their noses should be and their noses where their mouths should be, obesity, poverty, trailer parks, sweltering heat, racism and the nympho I dated when I was 16. (I had no idea what to do with her and after freaking out from being handcuffed to a bed when her parents weren't home one day, I ended that. Dumb at the time but probably for the best. Otherwise, I'd have a 19 year old today, less teeth and would be constantly screaming, "shut the got dang trailer door Alicia Daigle".)

So. Do we believe this toilet stall is a time machine? Or do we believe this is the date for the end of the world as surmised by some backwoods Nostradamus?

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