Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Homophobic Wednesday & Donkey Boners!

One of my favorite days of the week—Homophobic Wednesday! Another chance for us to prove America's ignorance.

This photo came from John Jacobsen or Keith Raines—sorry fellas, I get a lot of texts.

I really could care less how Payne went from "HILAROUS" to a "HUGE FAG." What I really came to talk about is "Donkey Boner President."

How cool of a political title! Such regality. Imagine one dude, leader of the free world's ass erections. Measuring. Calculating. Staring. This is the change we need.

If you haven't guessed yet, I hate politics.

Individuals doing good for the country went away a long time ago when corporations got involved. Now, it's about which back room deal will benefit a politician's back pocket more. Mitch McConnell and Barack Obama care about the same thing—money. Barack writes books and is funded by just as many corporations at Mitch McConnell.

(McConnell just seems a lot seedier, with that horrible, slow Kentucky drawl. He's kind of like watching a stroke victim with mental retardation. I want to feel bad for him, I also want to scream at the TV whenever I see him, "GET THE WORDS OUT ALREADY YOU INCREDULOUS SHORT BUSER!!!")

If it isn't one of these two asshats making terrible decisions based on their corporate sponsorships, you've got the 635 members of Congress and the Senate to fuck it up. And if you don't think they've had their pocketbooks molested too then go ahead and believe in unicorns, the Loch Ness Monster and free oral from tranny Vietnamese hookers.

This is why I hate politics—in two paragraphs. It's also why I'll be voting for Donkey Boner President next election, because it's just as important to this country as having a President of the United States of America.

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