I have some advice for you Discovery Benefits

At least they're honest.

It's no secret—I LOVE a good beer.

But aside from pouring myself a 24 oz. Rolling Rock Tallboy at home—I know, I know it's not a "good" beer—sometimes you have to mix it up and head out for a beer in a different location, for a much more inflated price. 

In my neighborhood, there's a cool little bar called Zazoo's (The Paul Kerseys just blasted this place to smithereens a few weeks ago). The bar is a random hodgepodge, but overall it's laid back and I enjoy this aspect of it. 

Most of all, I appreciate their honestly. For example, the warning sign on their hand dryer. This hand dryer has been broken for at least 4 months. Which is common in bars. Shit breaks in bars usually by fratboy dickwads or slurring whores. Either way, it's refreshing when you come across something this honest, even if it means slightly moist pant legs.

Toy Story 2 was Ok.

NO, THIS IS NOT A REPOST!

This photo was snapped by Keith Raines in Chicago at what was either a brothel, juke joint or underground panda wrestling club. 

A few months ago, Aaron Enneking sent me this from Bloomington, Indiana...

From the photos you can tell it was two different people who wrote these notes. While I've never seen any of the Toy Story pictures, I'm still not so sure I trust two people's review of it.

Maybe I'll check out what Ebert has to say.

Get Yer Tits Out

How fucked up is the weather?

It snowed balls out Sunday night, froze up like a bitch yesterday and today it's damn near 70 degrees.

Every weather forecaster today in the metro-Louisville area is blaming "global warming". Making little jokes about it and snickering like a 6th grader in a "Yo Momma" contest.

For the record I don't believe in global warming. I don't care how much data Al Gore has or the fact that there are Polar Bears right now in Mexico City drinking margaritas and eating churros.

What I do believe in is morbid obesity. Think about it, the fatter we as Americans get, the more shit keeps going wrong with the weather. We are single handedly causing the Earth to go all cattywampus.

Don't believe me? Tape a weight to one side of a basketball and see which way it rolls. Same thing is happening here All these morbidly obese people are taped to America and the Earth is rolling off its' access.

So my solution is we get ourselves a fleet of freighters and ship a bunch of the morbidly obese to Australia. When the British wanted to get rid of their prisoners in the 18th century, where did they send them? Australia. Australia happens to be on the other side of the globe and transferring this fleet of the morbidly obese would counter balance the world out.

This is a much easier solution than driving less, investing in greener initiatives or recycling. Fuck the fatties and pass me another barrel of oil.

Bad Idea.

If these are your tagging call letters, shame on you.

And if these do in fact happen to be somebody's real initials, shame on their parents.

There's a five second rant. I've got another long rant building but I'm not sure how to approach it just yet. Hold tight.