Homophobic Wednesday!

Irony or ignorance?

Today's post is gonna be short as I've got to get on the road.

I grabbed this from a Bonnaroo port-o-potty a couple of years ago.

It's odd that anybody who goes to Bonnaroo would shit talk this on a wall. Either way, it's stupid.

Seacrest out.

America. Fuck Yeah!

Satire? Or not?

Regardless happy Friday and America Fuck Yeah!

It might not be July 4th but everybody needs to go out this weekend and celebrate America by doing something retarded. Blow up a fish tank. Eat a stupid amount of hot dogs. Play the lottery.

This country wasn't founded on freedom. It was founded on the right to do stupid shit. Things the monarchs wouldn't let us do. Things like wearing a dishwashing sponge for pants. Drinking pasteurized milk. Putting glue on your hand, letting it dry and peeling it off like some kind of second skin.

So celebrate America.

America Fuck Yeah!

What?

A Bitch He Is!

Toy Solider with no arms?

Okay, I've got little to nothing for this post. I'm interested as to why somebody only cleaned up "bitch" and "he" on the back of this door.

That's it. I'm low on gas today, sorry kids.

Tomorrow. Epic post coming. Or at least better than this one. A shoe to the head would be better than today's post.

Keep it awesome.

What?

What?

Sometimes Shit Talking makes no sense except to the Shit Talker who wrote it.

I either see Pussy Pawn Max or Push Paul Wax or ;adiapojdf Paws Max.

What's your guess?

?

I am? Or am I?

So, thus concludes my tribute to The Mag Bar Bathrooms.

This one actually came out of the Port-o-lets behind The Mag Bar during St. James Art Festival. So technically, this part of the labyrinth of the Mag Bar.

Thanks to Schwegman and Meg for some of the photos from this week.

And please, visit The Mag Bar when you can and tell them Shit Talking sent you. Actually, if you tell them that, then maybe a few more people would read this fecal obsessed dirge.

Out.

The Mag Bar Day #4

Welcome to Day #4 of the Mag Bar's Bathroom tribute.

Today, it's time to talk about positivity—"You are Beautiful, even if the male gaze denies you that".

Ladies, I know sometimes you think, you're not attractive. Start feeling low. No good. Like that candy bar wrapper you can't get off your high heel, and then two block later when you think you've gotten it off, you realize, "fuck, it's been there for the last two blocks and I walked past that guy who I thought at the time was checking me and my new shoes out but now I realize, he was just wondering what kind of trash whore walks around with 2/3rds of Snickers wrapper on her foot".

Ladies this message is for you.

Even though the fellas ain't looking at you in your beat up sweat pants and salsa stained, 2001 Sr. Frog's Spring Break T-shirt, members of the same sex, still think you be looking fine. Fine.

So chin up.

Are you gay?

Congrats!

or

Surprise!

Either way, you win!

(this has been a post, in lieu of Shit Talking's Homophobic Wednesday)

Welcome to Homophobic Wednesday

This is the last reader submission I have. (Thank you John Jacobsen.) So until somebody sends me more. Reader Submission Wednesday is going to become "Homophobic Wednesday"—lawd knows I've got more than enough of this crap from men's room walls.

Today's entry is actually kind of interesting. Somebody took "I eat gay cock 4 lunch yum" and tried to unhomophobic it. Now if somebody could do the same for Mel Gibson we might have something going here. (Look at me mom, I'm on Leno!)

Only problem, and I realize the unhomophober only had the clever "I eat gay cock 4 lunch yum" phrase to work with, this new phrase makes no sense. "I eat stray cook 4 lunch yum". Come on, if you're gonna Shit Talk the homophobia out of something, don't correct it, just scrawl something else on the wall that makes fun of this stupidity.

If anybody wants to end Homophobia Wednesday, send me your Shit Talking photos.

It's Racist Reader Submission Wednesday!

This week's reader submission comes from John Jacobsen and man, is it racist.

Just like everybody else, other than the Ku Klux Klan or Rush Limbaugh, I express all my racist comments in the men's room. Why do it in public? It just causes too much of a stir and tends to bring dinners and meetings to a halt.

Also, I didn't know that gay men tend to have small penises? Wow, what a good joke. I'll have to remember that for the next men's room I'm in.

Thanks racist.

Cat...The Other, Other White Meat

Insanity meet Shit Talking. Holy hell!

This is a little hard to read but according to Tuesday's submitter, Jenny Wingo a lot of the cats have obituaries beside them and notes about "living forever" scribbled.

It's from a bar in Austin, TX called the Mean Eyed Cat. Which Jenny says has the world's largest collection of Johnny Cash memorabilia. Sign me up.

This is really the weirdest thing I've posted on Shit Talking.

Keep the weird stuff coming. Email me at justshittalking@gmail.com.

Long live Mr. Turley.

Wednesday Reader Submission Politico!!!

This week's Reader Submission comes from Nick Demille.

Who doesn't love getting drunk, discussing politics and slapping some Shit Talking on the men's room wall?

I'm not sure about the Balls for Brains "subhead" here. Trading either for either essentially negates the use of the one left behind.

I hate Captaaaaaaaaaaan Plannnneeeettttt!!!

Apparently Captain Planet has turned into a real asshole and wants us all dead.

First his tv show gets canceled. Then aerosol cans eat his ozone layer. Then... well there's a lot of then's actually.

But really, as a Captain, he's done a pretty shitty job. A Captain is supposed to lead you to victory. Rally the troops and charge ahead. But when was the last time you even saw this asshat?

His show isn't even in syndication.

Shouldn't this mook be down here picking up cans and cardboard? Shouldn't he be punching BP in the corporate dick? Maybe he should stop eating all the magic mushrooms in the forest and get the fuck back to work. Toot! Toot fuckstick! Break time's over Captain!

(Thanks go to Jacobsen for this pic, I think)

Starts with and "R" ends with a divorce.

Well, holy shit! Here's one for a Thursday morning.

I'm not sure how America benefits from this maneuver exactly.

Do the terrorists win if we don't?
Wait, isn't this essentially what the terrorists are doing in their motherland to their wives/stable of women currently?

If we don't, does America lose it's rep as the baddest cat on the corner?
Wait, I think Bush managed to help wipe that out.

Does this fix the economy?
Okay, so if you're gonna rape your wife, I'm assuming you'll need petroleum or some other type of lubricant. And who in America produces more petroleum based products than anybody else? Answer: Halliburton.

Fuck you Dick Cheney. I will not abide by your shit talking suggestions.

Chuck Johnson, done somebody wrong.

READER SUBMISSION DAY!!!!

This week's reader submission comes from two separate people from two separate port-o-potties—thank you Mike Jones and Amy Wathen.

First up...Chuck Johnson Eats Here. Gross, yet inventive. Chuck has really angered somebody or somebodies enough to warrant two Shit Talking moments.

I don't know Chuck. But I'm going to guess Chuck is the type of guy who pees in his shoe and walks around in it, beats his parents up for new gaming systems and knocks the beer out of your hand while you're two sips in. Chuck must be a dick.

Second...Chuck Johnson is My Ball Cleaner. I don't like this little piss shoe walker. He's a bully, I'm guessing, who is finally getting his comeuppance.

Keep on keepin' on Chuck.

Simple.

No reasons to cloud today's Shit Talking post with literary gibberish and analysis.

Moron.

Says it all.

Is there a better sentiment?

One of the fun things about Shit Talking is the examination of the English language—and not just the misspellings.

The words expressed at the point the pen hits the wall is amazing to me.

To me, I can use this statement in 3 ways.
1. In a joking manner.
2. As a serious, get the fuck out of my way, I'm pissed at you.
3. As a defensive maneuver.

In this context—inside a Germantown bar in Louisville, Kentucky—I wonder if this sentiment was expressed as:
1. A joke/response to all the graffiti in the bathroom?
2. Was the author of this pissed his piece was covered up?
3. Was the author pissed because he found a pube in his beer?

Whichever it is, I love it.

Happy Thursday and Fuck All Y'all Muther Fuckers

Turlet One Down! Turlet One Down!

Reader Submission Wednesday!

This week Troy Burkhart submits this Shit Talking photo from some where in the middle of Indiana.

It's a sad day when Toilet One goes down. It was everybody's favorite. Tears will be shed. We will miss you until "Furtheur Notice".

Slip 'N Splooge!

I'm not sure why we as men draw dicks in our own restrooms but, welcome to the magical land of Dick Fountains!

Where throbbing veins spurt jizz like volcanoes.

Where no umbrella is safe from being stained and collapsed down upon its holder.

Where the roads are all white topped.

Okay, I'm out of jizz jokes. Enjoy all that is 4 Dick Fountains!

And it burns, burns, burns.

It's Monday.

Apparently, somebody was a big fan of the 1992 Twin Peaks movie.

I never got the show but somebody drunk on Zima must have. I've never been so hammered I wanted to write the name of my favorite movie on a bathroom wall. I'm not sure how "Leonard Part 6" would look in my handwriting.

Sorry, it's Monday, the funny/commentmeter is on zero. I need crack.

Pederasts of the World Unite!

Who says 21 is the legal drinking/skirt chasing age?

Let's get some children involved in this party.

Jack Daniels, a Fruit Roll-Up and a rape van are all you need for a good time. Shit, that's a $200 bucks investment that will pay for itself.

Whoooooo, needs legal women? Shit at 21, girls nowadays have already been drinking 6 years. That's why you aim for 13, two shots and they'll be passed out, which is half the job right? The other half is finding an unlit street corner to drop them off on.

Hell, let's get some infants?!