Yo Momma Got Rubber Nipples

Sorry for the long lay off between posts.

Also sorry for the Zimmer and Kohl Construction rant. While I expected nothing done about the situation, I did contact the Louisville Better Business Bureau. Even they, won't do anything about it, not even revoke their BBB status—even though mine was the 6th complaint filed against them this year. Thanks Louisville Better Business Bureau, you're on my list of places to throw flaming bags of poop at.

Anyway, we're back and back with "Your momma's rubber nipples."

I'm not sure if rubber nipples is really an insult or not. On one hand, nipples are already kind of rubbery. If somebody's did have rubber implants would that be the worst thing? Sure they'd look odd, but people are doing a lot weirder things out there.

For example...

I watched John Waters at Bonnaroo this year discuss several really bizarre sexual fetishes. The oddest was men who replace the skin of their testicles with a clear plastic material so their partners can watch the production of sperm, kind of like a really perverted fish tank.

So, while this may have been an insult at one point, this is probably a sexual fetish now.

Thanks go to Lauren Collins for snagging this one. (What kind of bathrooms are you going to?)

Homophobic Wednesday!

Irony or ignorance?

Today's post is gonna be short as I've got to get on the road.

I grabbed this from a Bonnaroo port-o-potty a couple of years ago.

It's odd that anybody who goes to Bonnaroo would shit talk this on a wall. Either way, it's stupid.

Seacrest out.

I'm too sexy...

"I'm too sexy for this stall... so fuck y'all -ME"


I wish this is what Right Said Fred would have been Right about. Instead the Freds were just creepy as hell. And not in that "hey, there's two big bulky dudes whom I wouldn't want to fight" but more in the way of "hey, there's two big bulky dudes I wouldn't want to leave my cat with because they got WAY too familiar with one in that video." The last thing I want is my cat to develop some kind of obsession with mesh shirt wearing, erect nippled, British men.

While, I get in trouble for running my mouth about how shitty Oasis is, I'm going to go ahead and assume by writing the next few paragraphs, some Russian, Right Said Fred fan blog is going to contact me and threaten my life, but here we goooooo......

So, Right Said Fred is still together? And still performing shows? Really?

Not only are they performing shows, they're having to add shows because they are selling them out.

I'm not angered by this, more shocked and intrigued.

Want to know something even more disturbing?

THEY RELEASED A GREATEST HITS RECORD!

They've also released a total of 9 records. THAT'S 9, AS IN, THE NUMBER THAT COME AFTER 8, RECORDS!!!!!

How could I possibly have missed 7 records that didn't contain I'm Too Sexy?

Now as a "stupid American", I realize we might not "get" Right Said Fred. In fact, as a straight, white dude, I might not "get" Right Said Fred. I might not be going to the right bars or listening to whatever radio station here that has "JAM" in their call letters. But surely, with the novelty of "I'm Too Sexy..." you would think somehow, more Americans would have absorbed a few more Right Said Fred albums.

Hell, the Toadies had one "hit" (I love the Toadies, I'm not dissing them), and they got a spot on Lollapalooza a couple of years ago.

So, I have to say, I'm now utterly confused. How do I finish this blog post? Do I continue on a rant about Right Said Fred? OR Do I start a campaign to try to get Right Said Fred added to Lollapalooza, Bonnaroo and Coachella?

What the hell would you do?

(Thanks Amy Wathen for this photo)